


My Reason

by divergirlonfire_in_a_impala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cas is a fanboy, Cas is an overachiever, Cas plays Viola, Football Player!Dean, HS AU, High School AU, Jock!Dean, M/M, Modern Era, Nerd!sam, cheerleader!cas, cheerleader!castiel, like always John is horrible, nerd!Castiel, nerd!cas, this might be terrible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divergirlonfire_in_a_impala/pseuds/divergirlonfire_in_a_impala
Summary: Modern, High School AUNew school, Same Dean, no attachments, no worries!Except he needs a reason to stay for Sammy!Super fluff, maybe love, maybe heartbreak? Who knows?





	1. Setting The Scene

It started just another school, nothing special just another temporary fix while Dad is on a hunt. He claimed he’d let us stay here for a while if we both found something worth staying for.  _ Yeah right!  _

 

Of course, within a week Sammy found out he had a real shot at winning the Science fair and moving on to districts, I was proud of him and after some convincing Dad agreed. The hunts almost over and I still don’t have anything, a couple of broken-hearted girls that I didn’t get too close to, a bunch of c’s and two b’s, and several office referrals, nothing new, nothing special, and certainly nothing worth staying for.

 

_ I have to make this right for Sammy, he deserves to have this victory! _

 

Football tryouts! If Dad is going to be proud of anything I ever do, making the team is it, he was on the starting string his Senior year. I go to the practice, and I wanted to turn around and walk out. God, it was a bunch of stuck-up, rich kids who never got told no in their whole life, Of course, none of them had my strength. I made first string easy, running back, I hope this is worth my while because I can feel these weak idiots draining my soul.

 

The first game I scored 5 touchdowns, including the winning points. The whole time the Male head cheerleader was staring at me even on the bench, he’s cute, dark, messy, short hair, bright blue eyes, he’s not short, but he is shorter than me. I’ve seen him in a few of my classes, he is fairly quiet but mostly because he's soft-spoken and everyone talks over him, but he is smart.

 

_ I know I’m at least bi, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. Damn it if Dad knew he’d literally shot my kneecaps out. _

 

The Changing room was quiet, I’d taken a long shower so that I could think without other opinions. Wrapped in only a towel around my waist I go to my locker and start changing, “I’m sorry... I didn’t realize you were changing” a soft voice behind me exclaimed as I pulled on my shirt. “It’s okay man,” I said turning towards him already knowing who it was, “You played very well, Dean” He whispered looking at his shoes, his blushing cheeks practically glowing in this poor lighting, “Castiel, right?” he nodded “myfriendscallmecas” he quickly added, “well Cas, thank you, for such a quiet guy in class I sure could hear you on the field,” I say with a slight chuckle.”I don’t like people to hear me, but on the field, it’s someone else's words.” he explained looking up at me. “You know What Cas? I think I just found my reason to stay here the rest of the year” I took a step closer, held his face in my hands, leaned in and kissed him.  

 

This was the one school that I don’t regret everything I’ve done. Castiel gave me a purpose that the fire took away from me. Sammy got 3rd in the district, He is going somewhere with his life, I am probably not, but right now I just want to be happy with an amazing brother and the perfect boyfriend.

 

Hopefully, Dad holds up to his end of the deal!


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I turned it into a story! Yay!!

_Why can’t people just mind their own business?!?!_

“Yeah so we’re dating, so what?”

_I hate people! WHY IS SHE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!? CAS!!! HELP I’M NO GOOD AT SMALL TALK!!!!_

“We are just taking it slow,” Castiel finally responded, _thank god he can read my mind!_

 _Damn, he looks good today his hair perfectly tousled and wearing my new letterman which suits him better than me. He has his own, he is a cheerleader with academic excellence, but he prefers mine._ “Dean? We should go to class” He shakes me out of my train of thought, “I don’t know how you’ve managed to trick these people into thinking that you’re cool you can’t handle talking to anyone but me, and I thought I was the shy one.” Cas hits my shoulder gently, laughing at my bright red cheeks, I rub my warm neck in embarrassment, “sorry buddy I just couldn’t think of the right thing to say and she looks downright murderous.” He just starts laughing!  
_WHAT DID I SAY THIS TIME?!?!_  
“That would be because she wants to date you, and well, that’s kind of hard when you have a boyfriend!” Castiel said as he leans his head on my shoulder, despite what we’ve told everyone we have been together almost six months and are fairly comfortable around each other. “How’s Sammy doing?”  
After placing third at districts he’s moving on to State competition in two months.

“He changes the font every seven minutes, then he’ll ask which one looks more professional like I actually know the differences between serif, liberation sans, liberation sans narrow, and times new roman! But it’s kinda cute ya know, he’s really excited about this, but Dad’s not too supportive, he just sort of dismisses him anytime he asks about anything, which means suddenly I have to be an expert on how different pH water levels affects algae cell structure, whatever the hell that means! It’s just really stressful for both of us.” He looks almost hurt, “what’s wrong, Angel?”  
_I must be a freaking comedian because he keeps laughing at me!!!_  
“Dean, sweetheart, Love of my life, I’M IN AP BIOLOGY TWO, if he needs help just call me!”

_God, I love how smart he is! My boyfriend is the only Sophomore doubling up on Chemistry and Bio 2, the only classes we have together are English, French, and Algebra 2 because I am actually fairly good at writing and math, but I would sooner fail Chem if it wasn’t for Cas tutoring me._

“Have I told you recently that I love you?” I ask looking down at him with my hands resting on his hips, “I can not remember you saying that today,” Castiel questionably states squinting his eyes. “Oh well, I! Love! You!” each word accompanied by a kiss, “I Know!” Cas returns the favor.

“GET A DAMN ROOM” “GOD BABY BROTHER!!!”

_I forgot about Castiel’s brother Gabriel and Luci, oh how we hate each other!_

“Let’s get to Algebra, Angel” I drape my arm over his shoulder pulling him close.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Algebra class!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd and co-written by my amazing friend, Venice (her nom de plume), all math explanation was her so she's the smart one! Also, I refuse to apologize for any puns in this writing!

“Sorry about the twins. They think they're so clever.” 

 

_ Castiel’s brothers are a pain in the ass, and Cas’ opposites in every way; where he is reserved and shy, Gabriel and Lucifer are loud and outspoken, where he’s kind and compassionate, they are self-centered jerks.  _

 

“It doesn’t matter. I care about you regardless of your idiotic siblings!”

 

_ I can’t believe he worries about what they think of me! Cas’ already got enough on his mind with being cheerleading captain and midterms coming up. He shouldn’t do this to himself. He can’t... _

 

Cas and I walk into algebra class right as the bell blares throughout school, echoing across the hallways. Some people stare at us, with my arm draped around Cas’ shoulder and his cheeks illuminating bright red, but I didn’t care. We walked to our seats, mine just across from Cas’ desk so I can lean over the aisle if I choose too! The teacher then began giving the lecture about how Descartes’ Rule of Signs is oh so important in our modern day lives. 

 

_ I really do hate math even if I'm good at it!  _

 

“Cas...psst…. Cassi?!?”

 

“What is it, Dean?” 

 

“What the hell are we talking about?!?!”

 

“Descartes’ Rule of Signs.”

 

“Des-WHAT?”

 

“Ok so basically in polynomials, there can be either positive or negative terms, right? So depending on how many times the terms change from a positive to a negative or vice versa determines whether a root of the polynomial is positive or negative. For example, 5x to the power of 4 minus 3x to the power of 3 minus 6x to the power of 2 an-”

 

I just blanked out at this point. 

 

_ Whoever this Destiel guy or whatever his name was really needed to get a life and to stop ruining mine! Man, I really want a cheeseburger right now, maybe with a side of- _

 

“Dean?”

 

I snapped back into reality. “M’sorry what?”

 

“Do you understand what’s going on?” 

 

“Oh yeah, definitely. Maybe you could come over tonight to review?”

 

“Review?” Cas raised his eyebrow, “You don’t even know what I’m talking about right now, do you?”

 

“Not one bit!” A wide grin stretched across my face. “So is that a yes?” 

 

“Ugh! Fine, but we are studying! You have to pass this class or else we can’t be in pre-cal together next year.” Cas smiled joyfully, causing the ends of his eyes to crinkle. I couldn’t help but smile back.

 

“Mr. Novak! Mr. Winchester!” Mr. Clarkson croaked across the classroom, glaring directly at both of us. “Please pay attention!” 

 

“Sorry sir. We were just discussing a time for a study session.” Cas replied, only really audible to the few desks surrounding him. 

 

What’d you say Mr-” Before he could finish, the bell rang for lunch. 

  
_ Saved by the bell! Lunch, a whole hour just for us to talk about whatever we want or just sit in silence, enjoying each others’ company. _


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LUNCHTIME!!!!
> 
> Trouble with the twins.

_ I! Need! Pie! Now! Can these idiots walk ANY slower!! OH MY GOD  _ **_MOVE_ ** _!!!  _

 

Eventually, Cas and I reach the commons, a massive room filled to the brim with stuck up, hormone-infested millennials. The lunch line smelled like spaghetti and meatballs, perfuming the air with the smell of meat and tomatoes.

 

_ But I want a cheeseburger!!! Ugh, these rich kids. This smells nothing like the spaghetti I fix for Sammy. Of course, it does not come from a can either.  _

 

Cas and I then got in line for food, my arm resting comfortably atop of his shoulders. His cheeks glowed a soft pink.

 

_ His shyness will always be a part of him, but that makes Cas the angel I know and care for. _

 

After we got our food, we made our way to the far end of the cafeteria, dominated by the elite of the high school, the cheerleaders, the athletes, and the filthy rich. Cas sat to my right, with the football team to my left. Just passed Cas were the cheerleaders, gossiping about God knows what. Cas didn’t join in the conversation, but he did listen intently to their ramble of words strung together like a carefully orchestrated song. It was a few minutes later before Cas and I began talking to each other again. 

 

“So what time do you want me to come over tonight?” Cas asked in between his bites of spaghetti.

 

“Hmm… How ‘bout right after school?” I replied. “We could walk over to my house together. It’s not far.” 

 

“Ok, I just have to tell my brothers when to pick me up.” Cas then pulled out his phone.

 

“No, you don’t have to do that!” I placed my hand over his phone to keep him from texting Lucifer and Gabriel. “I’ll walk you home, or you could stay the night”

 

“DEAN?!?!?”

 

“OH GOD, Cas, not like that! I just would like to spend some time with you. We hardly see each other with cheerleading and football practices. Maybe you could stay the weekend, Sammy and Bobby would love to have you over also.” I explained laughingly. 

 

“Well… my Father won’t care… so yeah I’d love too.” His words laced with anticipation. 

 

“HEY DICK LEAVE OUR LITTLE BROTHER ALONE!” Cas and I spin around to see Gabe and Luci, standing in the aisle glaring at us, their shout turning heads in our direction. 

 

_ Shit, they look pissed!  _

 

“Guys please, I’m not doing anything wrong.” I reply as confidently as I can with two massive, hostile seniors and half of the cafeteria staring at me. “We’re just eating food.” 

 

“L-leave u-us alone g-g-guys,” Castiel says scared as he barely manages above a whisper

 

“Gabe, Luci, I think that Castiel can make his own decisions about who he hangs out with, right Angel?”  Cas nods, nonetheless his eyes were filled with fear.

 

_ Poor thing he doesn't want to cause trouble, but I'm in a mood, so we're about to throw down! I don't care if he is your little brother, DON’T MESS WITH MY MAN!  _

 

“Come on we were done anyway.” I grab our trays and walk away. I barely make it to the trash can when I hear a very clear fight call, Lucifer yelling at Castiel!

 

_ Bitch fight me!! _

 

Rushing back, I pull him to my chest, one arm ready to punch Gabriel’s smug face! I turn with Cas still in my arms, that is till one of them grab my shoulder!

 

“Damn what’s your problem?!” 

 

All of a sudden, the world around me becomes a sea of flying fists and feet, my own limbs connecting with anything that came within four feet of Cas, who I had pushed behind me. The cafeteria filled with roars and cheering from the students, nagging on Gabriel, Lucifer, and I, as if we were fighting for their independence. 

 

_ People, more evil and annoying than the monsters I have to fight. Demons I get, people are crazy! _

 

Several football players soon try to drag us apart. I'm not actively trying to hurt them, believe me, if I wanted to, this fight would have been over before it began, so I back off, as does Gabriel, but it takes three guys to stop Lucifer. 

 

“Luci, please stop, Dean won't hurt me… Lucifer, please don't hurt him! I love him!”

 

_ WHAT?!?!? DID CAS JUST SAY THAT HE LOVES ME IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL, and more importantly in front of his brothers? Wow, he is so beautiful and perfect! _

 

_ “ _ Castiel... d-do you mean that?”

 

_ I  _ _ cannot _ _ start crying at school, nope! Not going to happen… _

 

Castiel grabs me by my shirt and pulls me into the strongest, warmest hug ever,

 

_ I can't believe that I'm standing in the middle of the commons crying as my boyfriend hugs me after he's told me he loves me! BEST DAY EVER!!! _

 

A few scattered “ewws” can barely be heard over everyone “aww” ing. 

 

By the time Castiel lets go, Lucifer has stormed away,

 

“Sorry man, sometimes he gets carried away, look I just didn't want to see him get in over his head, somethin’ tells me you're stronger than you look.” 

 

Gabriel shrugs decidedly and leaves.

 

**“What is going on over here?!”**

 

_ THE PRINCIPAL!!!!!! I can't get detention I'm supposed to spend the weekend with my amazing boyfriend!!!!! SON OF A BITCH! _

 

“Nothing sir. We were just showing everyone our new skit! Sorry about the noise.” 

 

_ Damn Cas is such a fast thinker! _

 

_ “ _ If you say so Mr. Novak” The principal grudgingly replied. “Don't let this troublemaker ruin your reputation.” He immediately glanced at me in disgust. 

 

_ WHAT WAS THAT LOOK FOR?!?! _

 

The principal then left, not wanting to question his most promising student. The commotion had quickly died down to hushed whispers, a few people still sneaking glances at Cas and I. The cafeteria soon went back to normal. I then feel a hand clasp mine, and look down at Cas, his smile blinding. 

 

“So is Saturday still on?” 

 

_ IS HE KIDDING ME?!?!?! IS SATURDAY STILL ON?!?!?! I DON’T KNOW ARE VAMPIRES BLOODSUCKING FREAKS? ARE DEMONS LYING SONS OF BITCHES?   _

 

“Of course it’s still on, idiot! Do you seriously think a little squabble like that would change my mind about spending time with you, if anything it makes me want to more!”

 

I rest my arm on his shoulders and guided him toward his Biology 2 class, next door to my chemistry room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: walking home, homework, SAMMY, and dinner!


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this took so long,Vince and I had finals, but it's a longer chapter to make up for the wait.

I’m leaning against my locker, looking badass in my leather jacket, waiting for my OBNOXIOUS OVERACHIEVER of a boyfriend to get his viola and to meet me to go to my/Bobby’s house for the weekend.

 

_ I’m not really sure if it’s my house yet...technically. I mean I’ve never really had a place to call mine, but I live there, I have for a few months. I don’t know, Bobby’s house makes me feel most at home since Mom died. At least it’s something… I don’t know… constant? A place that feels safe and welcoming, that is more than Dad ever offered!  _

 

“Hurry up loser!” I scream as I see Castiel walking towards me, clutching a textbook and his viola in his hands.

 

“Bite me, assbutt!” He yells back, laughing endearingly.

 

_ God, he’s gorgeous! When he smiles, like really smiles, when he thinks that nobody is looking or when he doesn’t care; his entire face lights up and his countenance completely changes, his eyes shine like a thousand stars are lighting them, as Shakespeare once said: _

 

_ “Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, _

_ Having some business, do entreat [his] eyes _

_ To twinkle in their spheres till they return.” _

_ His cheeks turn the same shade as a freshly bloomed rose. I love him so damn much!!!! _

 

He wakes me from my thoughts with a kiss, “What is wrong, Cher?”

 

I look into those star-kissed eyes and answer as honestly as possible.

 

“Absolutely nothing, Angel, nothing at all!” 

 

I pull him close to me, sealing our lips once more.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I pick up his viola, ignoring his adamant protest and walk to the front of the school, to begin the short walk home. My arm lays casually on Cas’ shoulder as we pass the nice houses to our right, with their manicured lawns stretching along the silent street. Every so often, a bird’s call would break the silence, as Cas and I walk enjoying each others’ company.

 

We arrive at Bobby’s house; a cream, two-story house that feels inviting in every way. The lawn is nice without constant grooming, tall shrubs with white flower go along the front of the house and a cobblestone path leads from the road to the front door. Bobby’s truck is in the driveway and Sam is already home. He has owned this house since before he became a hunter, his successful garage and his wife's nursing salary bought it.

 

_ Honestly, I love this place, Castiel isn’t the only thing that makes it feel like home. Here I can just be Sammy’s brother, Bobby takes over for the roles of father and mother, allowing me to have a life of sorts, a life not constantly worried about Sammy. Not having to worry about if he’ll get to eat tonight, or if he’ll get attacked when I’m not home; it’s liberating, to be free, not of Sam, I love him more than anything else in my life, but to be free of responsibility, a responsibility that no child should ever have to shoulder. _

 

We walk in and within seconds I’m attacked by Sam, “Deeean!! I neeed your help!...Oh Hi, Cas!”

 

“Hello, Sam” Cas smiles down at Sammy.

 

“Sammy, what do you need help with?”

 

“Oh right...sorry...uh...My project! I can’t figure out how to word part of my research and you’re really good at…like wording things and you always understand what I’m trying to say when I’m speaking really confusing...ly? See! I can’t talk correctly UGGGGHHHH!!!!!”

 

_ He’s really freaking out and pretty close to a panic attack. _

 

“Okay…Sammy...Calm down and breath in and out… I can help, I just need you to calm down... Good, now slow down and explain to me what you’re trying to say.”

 

_ He needs to calm down! He’s already had three panic attacks this week because of this project. Damn, he really hates having attacks in front of others, even Cas. This project is  _ **_Not_ ** _ good for his health but he won’t drop-out, he practically bit off my head when I suggested it about a month ago. I really don’t want him to overwork himself or to wear himself out, but I can’t appear unsupportive, especially with Dad being his usual “supportive” self. Hey, if Bobby can live with Sammy growing algae in his house, then I can figure out a way to solve both Sam’s stress and work problems! _

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thanks, Dee, you’re amazing! Cas, thanks for translating the science for Dean!” Sam exclaimed excitedly, relieved to have surpassed this crisis.

 

“Hey! I understood like half of it! Not all of us can be child prodigies!”

 

He laughs at that.

 

_ This makes me smile, making Sammy laugh makes me extremely happy! _

 

_ I really don’t mind that my little brother and boyfriend are smarter than me. I think I even heard Sam offer to teach Castiel Latin. Unfortunately, new languages are the only subjects that Cas has trouble picking up, we’re in the same French class and I tend to understand new word and concepts before Cas does. It’s the only subject where this is the case. _

 

_ God, I’m so hungry, I’m always hungry! I’m pretty sure I smell hamburgers cooking. Good! I’ve been craving them for a while. Bobby is the  _ _ best _ _ grillman in the world! _

 

“Bobby, is it almost done? We’re hungry!”

 

“Be patient ya idjit!” Bobby shouts back.

 

“Dean, what did you want to do after dinner?” Cas asks me. “Maybe we can study French?”

 

“You and studying, I swear.” I chuckle. “Sure, especially with that test coming up. But first, we should have some fun after we set up your air mattress.”

 

Sam glances in our direction in horror, his eyes growing to the size of golf balls.

 

“Oh my gosh, Sam, NO!!!” I said in frustration. “Like a movie or board game or something.” I shake my head. 

 

_ This kid. And just when I thought he was going to stay innocent.  _

 

“Dinner’s ready!” Bobby called from his grill, carrying in a platter of crispy, smoking hamburger patties with melty, gooey, Colby Jack cheese on top. 

 

I practically trampled over the coffee table, tripping over Cas’ leg as I scrambled toward the food. I faceplanted a second later, being greeted by solid oak flooring. Sam began laughing hysterically, rolling on the same godforsaken floor. Cas was trying to contain his laughter, but he just ended up letting out loud burst of laughter as he reached down to help me up.

 

_ God, I’m an idiot; at least he thinks I’m adorable. I blame Dad. He didn’t properly teach me how to walk!1!11!!  _

 

I grab Cas’ hand and pull myself up, my face flushed red. I had a large bump on my forehead, throbbing to the pulse of my heart. 

 

_ I just lost a fight with a dead tree. Nice going Dean. _

 

“You guys going to eat or not?” Bobby yelled from the table, already assembling his cheeseburger. 

 

Cas and I walked into the kitchen and sat down, followed by Sam, who was still snickering under his breath. We all grabbed a patty and bun, added a few choice toppings, and began eating in a comfortable silence, which wasn’t unusual with Bobby’s grilling. Cas eventually broke the silence.

 

“These burgers are amazing Bobby,” Cas said in between bites. “Thank you for having me.” 

 

“Not a problem, You make Dean happy, well then I’m happy to have you over!” Bobby replied endearingly. 

 

Dinner resumed with conversations ranging from Harry Potter fan theories between Cas and I ( _ He thinks he’s a Ravenclaw, but he’s 100% a Hufflepuff. Also he  _ **_insist_ ** _ that I’m a Gryffindor, but come on, I’m totally a Slytherin!! _ ), to Sam and Cas discussing whether Viktori or Otayuri is better. ( _just for the record, I think that_ _ Viktori is endgame, but Otayuri is a power couple!!). _

 

Overall a good evening, too bad we have to study. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, hopefully it's nice and long, it was just very hard to write homework stuff during the summer!

Cas and I leave the table and go upstairs to my simple, minimalistic room, he sits on my bed and I go to my desk and grab a deck of cards.

 

“Seriously, Dean!? I thought you were kidding, we really do have to study!”

 

“No, it’s okay, we’re going to play strip poker, that way we can get the distractions out of the way!”  

 

_ He looks so done with me! God, if he didn’t love me, I swear that he’d kill me. _

 

“Haha, real funny Dean, just like your algebra grade.” 

 

_ Awww, snark is a good look on him. It’s cute, funny but cute. _

 

“Good sir you have mortally wounded me, kicked me when I was already down. Here I was trying to woo my beloved and you shoot me down before I could profess my love in a song!”

 

_ Ouch! He threw a pillow at me?!?! _

 

“If you were to serenade me, what song is befitting of our love? Tell my Oh Dork Knight?”

 

_ So he’s playing along, this could be fun! _

 

“I believe you mean  _ dark.” _

 

“No, dork is exactly what I meant.” He said this looking particularly thoughtful.

 

_ Arrow to the feels! _

 

“Oh my sweet Prince, I could not tell you by which song I could sing because a love such as ours could not be contained within but one simple song.”

 

_ No, really, there isn’t a single song that fits perfectly! There’s some “Thank You” Led Zeppelin, some “Angel” Aerosmith, some “Love Song” Taylor Swift (DON’T ASK, IT’S ALL CAS’ FAULT, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING A FEW OF HER SONGS!!!), definitely has some “Thinking Out Loud” Ed Sheeran, and all of that barely scratches the surface.  _

 

“Well Romeo,” He rolls his eyes so hard, I’m afraid they might fall out of his head! “Since you’re wanting to show off your superior vocabulary… let’s start on the English homework!”

 

_ Party-pooper. _

 

“Fine. What act were we on?” I say as I pull out  _ Julius Caesar _ . 

 

“Act 3, Scene 2. We’re going to work on some of the test’s vocab.” He says as he pulls out his textbook. “Apparently there’s a lot in Mark Antony’s speech.”

 

“Blech! Vocab is THE WORST!!!!! Why can’t the teacher just give us the definitions, it’s not like we actually look them up in a dictionary, we just GOOGLE IT! WE DON’T ACTUALLY LEARN!!!!!”

 

“Let’s just finish it quickly so I don’t have to hear you DENOUNCE vocab anymore,” Cas replies sassily. 

 

“I DON’T KNOW THAT MEANS!!!!! heLP ME GOOGLE!!!!!!” I say as I scramble for my laptop, vigorously reaching for my backpack as I fall off my bed. 

 

Cas, in tear-riddled in laughter, pulls out his laptop from his backpack and says while trying to breathe, “Denounce, to publically declare to be wrong or evil. This is why you have to do vocab!”

 

I’m still trying to pick myself up from the floor when I realize my laptop is on the bed sitting on one of my pillows.

 

_ I FELL FOR NOTHING!?!?!? WHAT IS LIIIIFE?!?!?! This sucks!! Homework brings out the worst in people! _

 

I finally get situated on the bed to the left of Cas, sitting crisscross as Cas begins rattling off words.

 

“Interred, to place (a corpse) in a grave or tomb, typically with funeral rites.”

 

“Cool, zombies”

 

Cas gives me a side-glance, but continues, “Oft, archaic, poetic/literary, or jocular form of often.”

 

“I ‘oft’ just want some food, oft.”

 

“Reverence, deep respect for someone or something.”

 

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME!!!!”

 

Cas continues while he tries to contain his laughter, “Vesture, clothing; dress.”

 

“But, isn’t that about a dude? In Shakespeare’s time?!? Dude was progressive!”

 

Cas glares at me. “Blunt,  (of a person or remark) uncompromisingly forthright.”

 

“420!!!!!! Shakespeare was high conspiracy, CONFIRMED!!!!!”

 

Cas is not impressed. “I get the feeling that you’re not trying all that hard to learn these! ”

 

“Me!?!? I’m offended, I am giving all 25% of the mental capacity that I am capable of giving to such a menial task!!!! How dare you accuse me of not trying! Dude, can we just move on already?”

 

“FINE Dean, but it needs to be a short break! Okay?”

 

“Sure!”

 

_ Wink wink, good luck with that Cas. How about a Harry Potter marathon instead, he can’t possibly resist! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

  
  



	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Co-writer and I have been working on this since June!!! However, some future chapters have already been written!

I get up from my bed and walk over to my shelf and grab the Order of Phoenix as Cas puts the English homework aside. As I walked back over with the DVD, Cas groans.

 

“DEAN! A  **SHORT** BREAK….. can’t we at least watch the Goblet of Fire?!?!? It’s sooooooooooooo much better.”

“But Castiel, Order has Luna, the scene with the twins and the fireworks, the DA, super sassy Harry, and of course WOLFSTAR! Plus Goblet’s whole plot twist is a confusing mess, and the only redemption is David Tennant.” 

 

“UGH fine. But I’m gonna rant through the whole movie.”

 

“Well my angel, that is the only way to properly watch any movie!”

 

I then settle onto my bed and put the DVD into my laptop and press play. Only two minutes into the movie, Cas begins criticising the movie. 

 

“Why do Dudley  and his gang look like a 90’s boy band?”

 

I laugh as I begin to hum I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys. Cas snorts as we continue watching the movie in peace. It doesn’t last five minutes.

 

“Why do they wait so long to run?!!? THEY’RE GOING TO KILL YOU, DUMBASSES! RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT  **BECAUSE IT DOES!!!!!”**

 

_ He gets really into this! _

 

“Expecto patronum! Hey Cas, what was my Patronus again? I can never remember this stuff”

 

“Seriously, Dean we went over this, I’m a blackbird and you’re a husky, remember we took the test a few weeks ago!”

 

“Castiel, I can’t remember the vocab words from five minutes ago, how am I supposed to remember a random animal from weeks ago…. Also a husky seriously!?!? It should be something stronger and scarier than that!”

 

“Dean, huskies are some of the strongest dogs out there. Have you never heard of mushing?”

 

“Yeah, it’s when dogs look fluffy and run, is fluffy synonymous with strong!?!? I think not! It should be something strong like an elephant or a wolf!” 

 

“Because you appear strong, but you’re really just a fluffball. Now shut up, I want to rant some more.” He looks back at the screen.

 

_ I’M NOT A FLUFFBALL, I AM A WARRIOR, I KILL MONSTERS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! Stupid Cas and stupid Pottermore, how dare they call me fluffy!?!?!!? _

 

“You are the worst guardian ever! You can’t even talk to Harry even after he was attacked and basically arrested!” Cas yelled at Dumbledore directly, “You don’t even teach the kids at Hogwarts!!!! YOU LEFT HARRY IN AN ABUSIVE HOME KNOWING THEY WERE ABUSIVE LIKE WHO DOES THAT!?!?! YOU’VE GONE SENILE OLD MAN DIE ALREADY, I’M WAITING FOR THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“PREACH CAS!!”

 

“I WANNA SLAP YOU SO HARD WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOUR ROBES ARE OUT OF STYLE!!!” Cas banshee screams at the laptop. 

 

“Uh sure, you tell him, babe! I mean it’s not like he’s over 100 or anything…….. Oh wait, he is.” 

 

Cas glares at me but ignores my comment. We resume watching, but then we get to the train station, where Sirius appears in Animagus form. 

 

“Where did the robe come from, why is Sirius being held prisoner in a house that literally hates him and reminds him of an abusive situation!?!? HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER!!!”

 

_ He’s not wrong Sirius is an amazing friend and has such a tragic story! _

 

After a while later, they fly to the ministry.

 

“God Luna is freaking amazing!!! Not to mention Hermione!! Would you take on a masked nazi-wizard trying to attack me?!?! HUH DEAN WOULD YOU?!?!?”

 

_ Wow okay, weird turn? _

 

_ “ _ Of course mon Cher, I would fight off Voldemort himself to save you!” I peck his cheek, he seemed to like that answer! Good!

 

“STUPID BELLATRIX, STUPID SIRIUS BLACK!!! WHY’D YOU LET YOUR COUSIN KILL YOU?!?! SHE ONLY USED  _ STUPIFY  _ NOT  _ AVADA KADAVA!!!! _ YOU HAD TO LOSE YOUR BALANCE!!!!”

 

_ Same, SIRIUS DESERVES BETTER!!!! _

 

\---—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I think he's calmed down enough to suggest going to bed, maybe?

 

“Hey, love… Cher?”

 

_ Should've guessed it, he's already asleep, precious angel! _

 

I move the books and laptop off my bed and move to the air mattress.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired my our two snow days here in Houston.
> 
> We are prepared to upload a chapter a month, for a while, so look out for that!

Daylight seeped through the frosted bedroom window. The air outside the covers felt like the Arctic. My mouth was dry from my saliva soaking the pillow under my head. My eyes were flaked with sleep. I slowly crept my hand out from the covers, the cold air nipping my bare hand. I immediately shoved my hand back under the layers of blankets on top of my stiff body. 

 

I slowly open my eyes, to what should have been the singing of birds, instead I get this…

 

“DEAN!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!! DEAN, IT’S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!....... COME ON COME ON GET UPPPPPP!!!!!!”

 

_ LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s just frozen rain, my sleep is more important than shifts in the weather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

 

“Wait, it’s actually snowing?” Cas jumps up from the bed to look out the window his body heat causing water to condensate on the glass. 

 

_ Not Cas too! Just leave me to die, let me freeze in this bed of ice! _

 

Sam began jumping on top of the air mattress, shaking it violently as he only screamed louder. I grab his leg and pull him to the ground, rolling on top of him and pretend to fall back asleep, my weight suffocating his puny body.

 

_ Take that! Don’t mess with a sleeping bear bitch! _

 

Cas laughs in the background, still excitedly staring out the window. 

 

“Come on, let’s go outside.” He said, aimed directly at me. “This is the first time it has snowed this year.” 

 

“Caaaassss!! ITS JANUARY, OF COURSE, IT’S THE FIRST TIME IT’S SNOWED, IT’S THE FIRST MONTH OF THE YEAR!!!!! ITS FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY!!!!! I DON’T CARE!!!!!!” I yelled at him groggily, my head buried in my pillow. 

 

“Well then, it’s your loss,” Cas replied with a smirk spread across his face. He stretched his hand in Sam’s direction, Sam’s hand still squished under me. “Let’s leave Dean in his misery.” I flopped off of Sam and land on my face. Again.

 

_ I am dating a large child!  _

 

_ Still, I'm not going to miss this but was that REALLY necessary, did he have to yell?!? What is it with younger siblings? _

 

_ Okay, battle plan! So assuming they're in the front, I can sneak in the back and start making snowballs, I will need a strong advantage with those geniuses teamed up! I need at least 50 before I can interact with the enemy! It should take 15-20 minutes to complete, how to keep them busy? _

_ HOT CHOCOLATE!  _

 

Quickly, I fix some of the best hot cocoa on the planet and call them in. 

 

_ While they waste their time in my evil trap, I will be setting up a more devious one! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR WAKING ME UP!!!  _

 

_ Should I waste time on a fort?  _

 

I look up to see Cas and Sam walking back over to where I was, talking like there was not a problem in the world. 

 

_ No time. Engage! _

 

I threw one of my many snowballs in their general direction. I duck under a bush as a heard a soft thump and a gasping Sam. 

 

“COLD COLD COLD!” Sam whines, shocked by the icy attack. They both begin looking around wildly for the perpetrator. Their faces appeared as distorted and panicked through the thin shrub of the bush. 

 

“Dean??” Cas says, drawn out and worriedly. I smirk. 

 

I stand up, three snowballs in my arms, and scream “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” as I pelt the poor suckers with balls of ice. 

 

“JERK!!!!” Sammy yells, the look on his face is priceless, I can’t take it falling to ground holding my stomach laughing so hard

 

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, BITCH!!!”

 

_ Where the hell did Cas go!?!? I can’t see him, but it hurts too much to get up and look. Oh well, he couldn’t have gotten far! _

 

I prepare myself for Sam’s retaliation, grabbing a few snowball ready to stand.

 

**Thwack!**

 

_ Ouch! What was that!?!??! It hit me in the head… Shit, Cas! Where is he? Behind me!?!  _

 

I turn to find him and pelt him only to get hit the face and again in the stomach, this sweeps me off my feet, the onslaught continues!

 

_ He’s killing me!!!! This is how I go, at the hands of my beloved in an act of revenge, goodbye cruel world!  _

 

“STOP! Please, Cas, stop, I surrender, please, HAVE MERCY!!!” The firestorm stops and I am free! I slowly stand and brush some snow out of my hair, when I’m hit once more on my side!

 

“SAMMY! CEASE FIRE!!!!” 

 

“Sorry, Dee.” He’s not sorry at all! That smirk tells the whole story!

 

“Yeah, whatever! Cas, how could you?! HAVE YOU NO HONOR!?!?!”

“Dean, you betrayed our trust, betrayed me! You speak of honor and yet you have none yourself!!!!”

 

I fall to my knees.

 

“Castiel, I beg you, forgive me, I can’t live knowing I hurt you so! Please Cas!”

 

“Yeah yeah, you’re forgiven.” I can feel Sam’s eyes rolling!

 

I stand and run into Cas’ arms, and wrap my arms around his neck and give him a deep, loving kiss. I feel him pull me closer, only I don’t have any balance and slip and pull us to the ground, snow flying around us and continues to fall onto his hair and eyelashes!

 

_ He’s so beautiful, like an angel, surrounded by white, wearing my jacket, lying on top of me smiling without a care in the world, I love him so much! I really can’t imagine my life without him! I want to freeze time and stay In this perfect moment forever, the two of us together and in perfect bliss.   _

 


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!

Why does this crap have to happen tonight? On Valentine’s Day and Cas, and my 6 month anniversary, God why can’t this teenage Twilight wannabe have to make an appearance this week, and why do _I_ have to handle it? Sam has his stupid parent-teacher meeting that Bobby is required to go to attend. Dad is, well Dad, and is out-of-town, God knows where! So that leaves me!

 

I send Cas a text telling him that Coach had called an emergency meeting about one of the players (who was a victim) at the school and that I would be 30 minutes late, that I was sorry and would make it up to him.

 

There’s about a 95% chance that the vamp is a student, every one of his attacks occurred at the school and were very immature killings, messy and the bodies were not hidden at all, blood everywhere. I just have to find him quickly and gank him! Two of the three bodies were found in the science wing, so I’m going to play monster hide-n-seek. The times of the deaths have all been placed between 8 and 9, which is why I told Cas I’d be done so quickly because these sparkly sons of bitches are so damn predictable and fairly easy to catch. And there he is.

 

“Stop whining, this will only hurt a little bit because you won’t feel it for long, then you’ll just be dead! Then I’ll be full and happy!”

 

Oh, see, it’s moments like this that make me love my job, you see I get to kill these evil blood-suckers and other fiends.

 

I manage to get the attention of the teacher and get her to stops fighting, the idiotic vamp probably thinks she passed out from fright. I quickly run down a different hall that puts me behind him. Carefully, I slip on top of him, she’s still slumped over in his arms out of harm's way.

I raise my blade, as he struggles with the sudden dead weight, take my stance… Breath. And Swing!

 

I swiftly catch his lifeless body so as not to hurt her, his warm blood coats my chest. Blood that didn’t even belong to him. Warmth that wasn’t his to shed.

 

“Are you okay?” I ask turning to the teacher, but she’s not alone. With her stands a wide-eyed, open mouth, shaking Castiel.

 

 _No, this cannot be happening, he’s not supposed to know about any of this. Cas why? Why couldn’t you stay away? Why couldn’t I have another life? One without monsters and lies, one only with us?_ I can’t tell if he’s more scared or angry.

 

“Castiel?” My voice breaks. He starts backing away. “Wait, please, I’m not a murderer-”

 

“Dean, there’s a dead body at your feet! You’re holding a machete! And you’re covered in… blood, Dean, you have his blood all over you...” He barely whispered the final words. He’s crying! I fall to my knees.

 

“Cas… Cas, please… He’s a vampire, he killed those other students!”

 

“It’s true, he saved my life.” The teacher said quietly.

 

“Please, I can show you his fangs, wait, you probably don’t want to see that,” I say as shake my head. “Please, let me explain everything. Please, angel, please!”

 

“Don’t...I ju- I… De-....” He takes in the room once more, then looks me in the eye with absolute disgust, turns around, and runs.

 

I scramble to my feet and run after him.

 

This can’t be it, no, it’s too soon! He hates me, I ruined it! I- I can’t, I scared him, I scared Cas, I love him, and now he can’t even look at me! God, I ruined it, the only real relationship I’ve ever cared about.

 

I turn the corner too fast and crash into some lockers, pushing myself up, I follow him outside.

 

It’s raining, it was raining on our first date, we had a picnic and I was sure it was ruined, but Castiel, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the rain. We danced and laughed! Now it’s raining and I grab his hand. This time he doesn’t smile, this time his eyes don’t sparkle, no, he looks terrified! Immediately, I drop his hand and whisper a “Sorry.”

 

“How am I even supposed to act Dean? I just saw my boyfriend decapitate someone, who he claims was a vampire! I can’t deal with this. I need some time away from you at a minimum. I’m also going to believe that you did save that woman, but I can’t do this, can’t handle this.” He points from him to me, from his heart to mine.

 

Am I crying? I can’t tell between the blood and the rain, my face is a painting of misery and heartbreak, figuratively and literally.

 

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” My voice is small, I feel small, like every part of me is sinking into the wet ground.

 

“Please,” he can barely get his sentence out, “Don’t talk to me at school. Don’t call me. Just leave me alone.” And I wish he hadn’t because, with that one sentence, I felt literal pain in my heart. My heart dislocated itself and plummeted to its death in my stomach. He turned away from me once again. I watch him leave, watch my angel fly away, no longer in my life.

 

I numbly text Ash to get a clean up for the vampire, before I collapse to my knees, no longer able to stand under the weight of my heavy heart.

 

I don’t know how long I laid in the mud and rain, but eventually, I got up and started the long journey home.


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, John is homophobic in this chapter.

_ Am I already home? I’m so out of it…. Wait? Shouldn’t this be locked? _

 

“Oof!”

 

I barely register the thought when I’m tackled from my right. I try to stand but the attacker is pinning me down, they’re much larger than I. 

 

The assailant grabs hold of my gun and trains it on me. With the hand not gripping MY gun, he flicks the light on.

 

_ WHAT THE HELL?!?! _

 

“DAD?”

 

_ What is he doing here? Last time we talked he had pretty much decided not to come back. Sam doesn’t know that. HE ABANDONED US! We haven’t talked in five months; Sam was so confused when he stopped calling me. He left because of me, he couldn’t stand “what I had become” as if IT wasn’t a part of me all along, he blamed Cas, told me my job was “to look after Sammy not mess around” he didn’t have a problem with the girls. You know leaving might have been the best thing he’s ever done for us! Sam has excelled since he left, I’m certainly happier. _

 

_ “ _ Damn it Dean!” he exclaimed in a gruff voice “I tried calling you, Bobby, even Sam! Why didn’t you answer? I thought something bad had happened!”

 

_ Something bad did happen, not that you’d care. _

 

“Sam and Bobby are at a parent-teacher meeting” _Where you should be!_ “As for me…” I hold my crushed phone (I may have thrown it) out for him to see “I was on a hunt.”

 

He stares at my bloodshot eyes. “Are you high?”

 

I swear he moved the gun when he asks.

 

_ Should I tell that I’ve been crying? Which version would make him hate me less? _

 

“It’s just allergies. Why are you here?” I ask in a cold voice that shocks him. “Last I checked you had no interest in being with us, in being our father!”

 

“You better not be sassin’ me, boy!”

 

“No sir!”  _ Do you want a salute? There was most definitely implied sass (probably some explicit sass also), but he doesn’t need to know that! _

 

“What, did you think I’d miss your birthday?”

 

_ YOU DID!!! By three weeks actually! _

 

“So I got this car from some dumbass who got themselves killed by a werewolf, and I thought what a better present for your sixteenth birthday than the Impala, so…. She’s all yours, I guess.”

 

_ Wait… the car’s mine? _

 

“Seriously?!”

 

“Bobby said you’ve been walkin’ to school, also now you can take that hm... Boyfriend of yours for a ride... speakin’ of, it’s Valentine’s Day, why aren’t you with him?”

 

_ Crap! What now?!? If I tell him, will he cheer? He STILL hates the idea of us together; I can hear the venom in his voice. _

 

_ What do I even say? Did we break up? If I tell him that Castiel knows, he might actually kill him. _

 

“Um…. Neither of us are really into that sappy nonsense.... Sammy’s gonna be really excited to see you.”

 

_ I can’t look him in the eye; I shift my weight from one foot to the other. I really hope he drops it. _

 

Thankfully he does, “No, I’m actually leaving. I was just going to leave a note, but no one answered their phone.”

 

_ Of course he is, I would roll my eye if he wouldn’t slap me if I did.  _

  
He left, no goodbye, no nothin’!  _ See you next year, you good for nothing son of a bitch! _


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More heartbreak.

I’m too wrapped up in a Criminal Minds episode to hear the front door open, but I still hear Sam calling for Dad. After he left, I got out of my bloody, muddy clothes, took a long shower, washing the blood and sweat off, and put on a T-shirt and sweatpants.

 

I’m still pretty numb; tonight has been a roller coaster. Right now, I’m supposed to be heading to a movie with Cas, happily in love acting like a lost puppy. Instead, I’m eating chips, not paying attention to the rerun playing on the screen, hoping that Castiel will convince himself it was all a weird nightmare. Wishful thinking, completely illogical, he probably hates me. There’s no way he still trusts me after that!

 

“Hey Dean, where’s Dad?”

 

“I‘m sorry Sammy, he left the car, I didn’t even talk to him, he drove off with another hunter.”

  
_ I’m not telling Sam that his father didn’t want to stick around to see him. _

 

“Oh,” His shoulders sag, and the hope literally left his eyes as he goes to his room. Bobby comes into the living room shortly after.

 

“Dean, why are you here, I thought…”

 

“Yeah, well, it didn’t happen!” I cut him off not wanting to hear the impending question. “I think we broke up. He caught me with the vamp. I don’t know.” I rub my temple feeling a headache coming on.

 

“Well, he was bound to find out ‘bout it. The life sucks. Need anythin’?.”

 

“I think I just want to go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning. Night.”

 

_ This is all my fault; I should have been more careful! _

 

I flop onto my bed and open my laptop. I type out an extremely long, drawn-out explanation and apology, then stare at it for a while before deciding to delete it. He told me not to talk to him, but I NEED him to understand! I don’t know what to tell him, what do you say to a person who you love and who now thinks that you are a murder, a person who may not love you anymore? 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ How am I supposed to go to school this morning? _

 

There’s this ache in my stomach, and I have a feeling that it’s not from Dad’s attack. I constantly feel a lump in my throat. I try to swallow it because if I don’t, I’ll start crying and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.

 

I’m used to being the one that does the dumping; of the numerous girlfriends I’ve ever had, the only one who dumped me just interrupted me. She just beat me to the punch. Those relationships meant nothing anyway, but Cas and I, we belong together. I love him! This feeling I have is similar to the ache I have when I think of Mom, it has faded a bit, but it still stings.

 

This sounds awful, but I just want to sit here and moap! Cas will be at school; he wouldn’t miss a day even if he were dying, him and his damn perfect attendance!

 

I’m not mad at him; I’m just so lost and confused. I was going to tell him eventually when I thought he was ready. Not now, maybe in a few years.

 

See I have this timeline in my head. After we graduate (Cas will be Val of course), he goes off to the college of his choice to be a doctor or something that will save the world from itself, and I’ll follow and save the world from the monsters. We’ll be married and travel and be this cheesy couple, and we’ll understand when the other has to travel to save the world. When he saves dying children in Africa or cures cancer, when I kill a werewolf or stop a god.

 

But, who knows if that will happen now. Cas may never trust me again.

 

Bobby doesn’t bother me; he just goes to work. I wonder if he told Sam. Sammy, I didn’t even think of the effects on him! Cas and Sam were really close, and now I’ve ruined their relationship also! I’m awful, the worst brother and boyfriend ever. I just ruin everything, I lie and destroy everything I care about. I sabotage everything good in my life and the lives of everyone I care about.


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long, our lives have been a bit crazy!

I can’t avoid him forever. Well… I could, but I'm too stubborn to tell Dad what happened and I can’t leave Sam. 

 

I don't really want to leave Castiel!

 

_ It's not like we have multiple classes together where we sit right next to each other. And we certainly don't have the exact same friend circle. Welp, this is going to be so much fun! _

 

_ I decided to go back this morning, I can't stay home forever, I really just hope he’s calmed down some. _

 

I arrive early to buy a parking pass, $50, FOR ONE SEMESTER!!! They're ripping me off! But I am glad that Bobby put me in Driver’s Ed last semester; it would be a pain in the ass trying to get my license and I'm not that patient!

 

As I'm leaving the front office, I go to my the local news app on my phone. That's the one thing about being a hunter entails, knowing what's going on in the world. Scrolling through, _ I can't believe I the president said  _ **_that_ ** _ , another famous person I don't know is dead, some Buzzfeed post about dogs, more political bickering, and really nothing new it's the same stories with different headlines every day! _

 

_ Hold on this new experimental treatment for Alzheimer’s sounds... _

 

**SLAM!** My shoulder comes in contact with a locker  hard !

 

_ Damn that hurt!  _

 

_ “ _ You screwing with our brother, asshole?” Lucifer's face is right in front of mine, his hand is twisted up in my shirt and his eyes are made of fire. “I knew you were dangerous!” Surprisingly, he’s not screaming at me, but he’s intimidating as hell right now, and he’s right. Gabriel is just catching up with us, I guess that Lucifer ran up to attack me. As Lucifer throws the first punch, a right hook to my jaw, I don’t make a move to stop him. 

 

The onslaught continues with more hits to my face and eventually a sucker punch to my gut that leaves me doubled over, trying desperately to catch my breath.

 

Gabriel hooks his right leg around my legs and knocks me off balance and I’m met with kicks to my recovering stomach and shoulder.  _ A kick like this to my face could cause some serious damage _ . I make the only defensive move I can do, covering my head with my increasingly purple and blue arms. 

 

I prepare to be here a while. This fury doesn’t die fast, it’s a slow burn. A desire to ultimately destroy me and I completely understand. If someone did what I did, to Sam, break his heart in the worst possible way with betrayal and lies, I would react the same way.

 

The edge of my sight starts to go dark, I’ve been unconscious enough that I know what to expect, so I’m ready for the bout of nausea that comes next, as time seems to slow down. I slowly close my eyes to focus on assessing my growing list of injuries as a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts.

 

_ Cas! He’s begging them to…. Stop? Why would he? Didn’t he ask them to do this? Don’t I deserve this, didn’t I bring this on myself, for hurting you? For betraying you? For ruining our perfect life? Castiel, why would you beg for mercy for me? You’ve always been a riddle of sorts, but I always thought I knew the answer and if I was the only one you didn’t care. Now, you’ve eclipsed even my understanding.  _

 

_ He’s even helping me to my feet, as Gabriel and Lucifer ask the same questions, Why this fool, this dog, this idiot who doesn’t deserve even a small piece of you. I should push him away, but he feels warm and strong, I don’t deserve his protection when I couldn’t protect him from myself. I knew I was dangerous, I’m a mess, he’s perfect. I tainted his pure glow, added a little darkness to his light, and yet he’s standing up for me. He really was/is too good for me, how could I have put him through this? I should leave, this school, this town, I was never meant to live a normal life. Mabe Sam will be better off without me, Castiel certainly will. I can go with Dad, even if he hates me I can’t drag him down anymore.  _

  
Castiel lets go and I refocus on what’s happening, the hallway is empty except for the angel looking down earnestly,  _ when’d he get taller? _ He gently caressed my cheek and I see blood on his hand. I can’t meet his perfect eyes. 


End file.
